Chapter Text
unemployed stinky vgc losers
2:12 PM
Tatsugiri: @Armarouge
Tatsugiri: @Armarouge
Tatsugiri: @Armarouge
Armarouge: tatsugiri i swear to god
Armarouge: WHAT
Tatsugiri: calyrex found dead in cascarrafa
Armarouge: YOU’RE KIDDING
Tatsugiri: yeah actually
Tatsugiri: i am
Armarouge: ...
Tatsugiri: i do have something important to say tho
Tatsugiri: found this team on craigslist they’re looking for two last members
Tatsugiri: its perfect for you and deedee
Armarouge: yeah sure
Armarouge: psyspam in reg g
Armarouge: what kind of low ladder gimmick garbage did you find me
Tatsugiri: ok so ive lost the link to the ad i can dm it to you later when i find it again
Tatsugiri: but they had this video on youtube and i do have that one saved
Tatsugiri: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-EXAskgFtM
Armarouge: fine fine lemme see
2:19 PM
Armarouge: tatsu what the f*ck is this
Hatterene: Language! >:(
Hatterene: What if Indeedee had been here to see that?
Tatsugiri: lol
Tatsugiri: she’s gonna crush ur spine watch out
Armarouge: sorry you’re right no more swearing
Armarouge: but you understand right hatt
Armarouge: hve you seen this team
Armarouge: quick claw horn drill
Hatterene: It’s definitely an interesting strategy...
Armarouge: trying to come up with a word to say thats not actually a swear
Armarouge: uhhhhh
Armarouge: hatt you’re galarian, is b*llocks allowed
Hatterene: Hmmm... fine...
Hatterene: But use it sparingly.
Armarouge: thanks bestie
Armarouge: tatsu this team is absolute bollocks
Tatsugiri: lmaooo
Tatsugiri: it pays well tho
Tatsugiri: seventeen grand per battle
Tatsugiri: each
Armarouge: WHGAT
Armarouge: SEVENTEEN??
Armarouge: where do they even get that money dude no way they’re beyond great ball tier
Tatsugiri: idk but its free moolah
Tatsugiri: you better take it before i gaslight them into thinking dondozo and i are better for the team
Dondozo: efr_t
Tatsugiri: sup big guy
Dondozo: hekkm.,plo
Hatterene: You’re getting better at typing Dondozo!
Dondozo: thnjk9
Armarouge: anyways its not like we can take the job
Armarouge: indeedee’s busy with the horses
Armarouge: there’s a good reason she’s not in this group with the rest of us you know
Tatsugiri: oh yeah right
Tatsugiri: how’s it feel being the housewife of the relationship btw
Armarouge: your mockery fails to conceal your jealousy
Armarouge: i have an awesome girlboss gf for whom i cook a nourishing meal every day
Armarouge: you’re just jealous you’re not me
Hatterene:
Tatsugiri: ADJDSJKESGAF
Tatsugiri: I WAS HOPING YOU’D SEND THAT
Armarouge: THAT WAS JUST ONE TIME
Tatsugiri: one too many times buddy
Tatsugiri changed the group chat’s icon
Armarouge: i think you forget how puntable you are sometimes
Armarouge: do you need a reminder
Tatsugiri: try it
Tatsugiri: you know what happens next
Tatsugiri: “BUT HERE COMES DONDOZO WITH A STEEL CHAIR”
Armarouge: steel is not very effective dumbass
Armarouge: *dumbarse, my bad hatt
Tatsugiri: crap you’re right
Tatsugiri: water chair??
Tatsugiri: nah doesn’t roll off the tongue that well
Hatterene: Please do not resort to violence!
Tatsugiri: says you???
Tatsugiri: you almost twisted my neck last time i got a little emotional
Hatterene: :3
Tatsugiri: ur making me suppress my emotions dude
Tatsugiri: enabling toxic masculinity
Tatsugiri: not cool
Armarouge: ANYWAYS
Armarouge: since we were on the topic of dondozo
Armarouge: tatsuguiri you make fun of me for depending on indeedee
Tatsugiri: that’s true i do
Armarouge: but you literally do the same with dondozo’s sweet ou cash
Tatsugiri: uhm
Tatsugiri: yeah but we’re not dating
Armarouge: that’s even worse??
Armarouge: plus i help out where i can
Armarouge: you could at least teach dozo how to type
Dondozo: yaesagHh
Hatterene: Wait, how come Dondozo and I are in the unemployed group?
Hatterene: We both have respectable jobs in OU.
Armarouge: actually yeah what the hell
Hatterene: No swears!! >:(
Armarouge: my bad didn’t know h*ll was a bad word too
Armarouge: uhmmm
Armarouge: what the wattrel
Armarouge: indeedee’s not in this group because it’s for the unemployed losers only, so what are you two doing here
Hatterene: Shall I make my leave then?
Tatsugiri: wait wait wait no
Tatsugiri: arma think about it if they both leave it’s literally just the two of us left
Armarouge: YOU’RE RIGHT
Armarouge: please don’t leave hatterene
Armarouge: you two are still unemployed in the vgc side that means you can still stay
Dondozo left the group chat
Tatsugiri: DUDE
Tatsugiri: can’t type but he knows how to leave group chats
Tatsugiri: bollocks i tell you
Tatsuguiri added Dondozo to the group chat
Dondozo: f3re`
Hatterene: That might have been an act of protest.
Hatterene: You should really teach him how to type.
Tatsugiri: OKAY FINE i’ll give him a phone class
Tatsugiri: some day
Dondozo: yehaeh
Tatsugiri: well folks im out
Tatsugiri: @Armarouge remember u owe me a favor now
Armarouge: ??? WHY
Tatsugiri: found you a banger team to join
Armarouge: i already told you, we cant join it
Tatsugiri: ok well i found it anyway
Tatsugiri: that’s still like 3/4 of a favor
Armarouge: GOODBYE
3:47 PM
Indeedee joined the group chat
Indeedee: cant deal with these f*cking horses anymore i swear to god
Armarouge: indeedee???????
Dondozo: w0oa
Not long after reading her message, Indeedee came into Armarouge’s view. “Hey,” the fire type said, unsure of what tone to use for her greeting.
“Hey,” Indeedee said back. Armarouge was also unsure of what her tone meant. She didn’t sound happy, which was already unusual. She decided she had to do some pressing.
“Is everything okay?” she asked. “Your last message was... unusually worded.”
“It was,” Indeedee said as she took a seat.
“Also, that group you joined, you know it’s named-“
“I know.” A pause. She sighed. “It happened again. I couldn’t take it anymore.”
Armarouge placed a hand on her shoulder. “Was it Glastrier or Spectrier this time that tried eating your hair?”
“Calyrex,” she replied. Armarouge said nothing back, for there was no appropriate response to be given. “I’m sorry, I think I overreacted when I left, maybe I shouldn’t have-“
“No, no, no,” she cut her off. “That workspace was extremely toxic. Not only the Restricted Pokemon too. Remember that time Incineroar lashed at you because your Psychic Terrain blocked his Fake Out?”
“Okay, to be fair, he’s normally a cool guy. We were facing Minimize Muk, I was getting frustrated too,” she said. “Still though, with how hard it is to find a team in this regulation... I think I was too reckless.”
“Well, uhh, if you need a job...” Armarouge scratched her neck, unsure on whether to keep talking or not. Ultimately, she decided the situation was too dire and sacrifices had to be made. “Have you read through the unemployed group chat?”
“No, I can’t. The older messages won’t show up because I just joined. Why?”
A notification on Armarouge’s phone decided it would be the one doing the explaining.
Tatsuguiri >> Armarouge
3:54 PM
Tatsugiri: found the ad
Tatsugiri: i’m assuming you’re gonna need it :)
“It’s probably best if you take a look for yourself...” Armarouge sighed, handing her the phone.
She stared and tapped for a little. “Wow, that’s a big salary,” she exclaimed. “Wait... is that Dewgong? And Gloom?”
“Yup.”
“Oh neat, they have a video!” Armarouge had no time to prepare her for the crusty, overused, copy-right free music that had just started playing through her phone’s speakers once again. She watched the whole thing, her face indecipherable all throughout. “Well,” Indeedee said. “Looks better than the horses.”
“You wanna take the job?” Armarouge asked.
“Not necessarily. But it’s very good money. One full day of matches could cover us financially for months. Also, I don’t mean to be rude, but I don’t think this team’s going to last for too long. That kind of strategy with that kind of salary? We’ll probably be back on permanent vacation in about a week.”
“Well, let’s take it then,” Armarouge said. Despite her faint smile, Indeedee’s mood was noticeably not the brightest yet. “I know it’s not the ideal glory days of Regulation A, and we definitely won’t be winning any tournaments soon, but it’s not all so bad. You’ll have me by your side this time.”
“Do you promise to protect me if anyone tries to eat my hair?” Indeedee asked.
“Of course. So there’s no need to feel Gloom anymore.”
“Armarouge, stop,” she reacted to the joke, deadpan. That didn’t stop them both from bursting into an irony-induced laughing fit moments later, though. Now that was the Indeedee from always. “Hey, does it smell like burning in here?” she asked.
“UH OH.” Armarouge sprang from the couch and rushed to the kitchen, invaded by a cloud of dark smoke.
unemployed stinky vgc losers
4:02 PM
Indeedee: 
Tatsugiri: NO WAY
Tatsugiri: BAHAHAIEJHS
Tatsugiri changed the group chat’s icon
she drills on my horn till im ohko’d
7:39 PM
Armarouge joined the group chat
Indeedee joined the group chat
Armarouge: hey
Indeedee: hiiii
Dewgong: yoooo new people
Gloom: excellent
7:42 PM
Ting-Lu: 
Gloom: haha
unemployed stinky vgc losers
8:00 PM
Armarouge: im going insane
Armarouge: we joined the team’s group and
Armarouge: all they said was hi
Armarouge: no info on when we work
Armarouge: or what we even do
Hatterene: Nothing at all?
Indeedee: all they sent is this lol
Indeedee:
Tatsugiri: EHSAJ
Tatsugiri: ask them yourselves morons
Armarouge: i mean yeah i was gonna do that
Armarouge: but like
Armarouge: what do you even tell these people
Tatsugiri: stop overthinking it dude
Tatsugiri: just ask
Armarouge: right right
Armarouge: here we go
she drills on my horn till im ohko’d
8:02 PM
Armarouge: Hey, so what exactly is our role in this team?
Armarouge: Furthermore, when and where can we expect to battle?
unemployed stinky vgc losers
8:03 PM
Indeedee sent a screenshot from another group chat
Indeedee: she’s so professional <3
Tatsugiri: no way you unironically said furthermore
Armarouge: UGHHH LEAVE ME ALONE
Armarouge: i hate this
she drills on my horn till im ohko’d
8:09 PM
Dewgong: oh yeahhhhh we should probs fill you in on some deets
Dewgong: ight ight interviewin time
Dewgong: @Armarouge can you tank an aqua jet or two
Armarouge: I think so
Armarouge: Maybe not the second if weak armor drops my defense
Dewgong: ehhhh youll be fine
Dewgong: im not even attack invested its chill
Dewgong: ok so you hold a weakness policy and go town
Dewgong: easy kills easy money
Dewgong: tera fire if you need to
Dewgong: @Indeedee you can support her well right
Indeedee: sure can!!
Dewgong: groovy
Gloom: can you set trick room for me
Indeedee: yea!!
Gloom: excellent
Dewgong: ight so we’re all set then
Dewgong: @Armarouge @Indeedee theres a regional tomorrow at levincia, be there at 8 sharp
Armarouge: Alright
unemployed stinky vgc losers
8:13 PM
Armarouge: THESE DUDES WANT US IN LEVINCIA IN LESS THAN 12 HOURS FOR A REGIONAL WHAT THE HELL
Hatterene: >:(
Hatterene: You keep saying it!
Armarouge: SORRY BESTIE I FORGOT AGAIN
Indeedee: does anyone know a way we could get there fast?
Hatterene: I might have an idea.
Hatterene: Hold on just one second I am being Direct Messaged.
Tatsuguiri >> Hatterene
8:14 PM
Tatsugiri: hey if we’re not allowed to say hell
Tatsugiri: does that mean you deprive yourself of the iconic galarian catchphrase
Tatsugiri: bloody hell
Hatterene: You are not passing the vibe check.
Tatsugiri: ruh oh
unemployed stinky vgc losers
8:15 PM
Hatterene: Well, now that that’s taken care of.
Hatterene: I can probably ask Corviknight to help you out.
Hatterene: He can get you there in under two hours.
Indeedee: that’d be great thanks hatterene
Armarouge: still gotta wake up at 6 am which ughhh
Armarouge: but yeah thanks hatt
Tatsugiri: can i come too
Armarouge: your stupid lake is at the opposite end of the region
Tatsugiri: ok and
Armarouge: we’re not taking a three hour detour in our two hour journey just to pick you up
Tatsugiri: wow so much for friendship
Tatsugiri: im coming anyway corviknight or not
Dondozo: em,es¿
Tatsugiri: yeah you can come too big guy
Dondozo: whwe
Armarouge: im going to bed
she drills on my horn till im ohko’d
11:29 PM
Ting-Lu: 
Gloom: haha
unemployed stinky vgc losers
4:58 AM
Tatsugiri: @Indeedee @Armarouge wakey wakey
5:46 AM
Armarouge: wh
Armarouge: why were you awake an hour before us
Tatsugiri: i told ya yesterday
Tatsugiri: corviknight or not
Armarouge: im too tired for this
Armarouge: frolic in your whimsical endeavors or whatever
Once they were both well suited in the cabin held by the large flying type, Corviknight took flight. “Have you ever been in one of these?” Indeedee asked. “I used to ride them all the time back in Galar.”
“Not really,” Armarouge said. “It’s way shakier than I expected. Are you sure this is safe?”
“Totally. Okay, well, there’s the Tinkaton, but they’re asleep at this hour, so you don’t have to worry about that.”
“Mhm,” Armarouge nodded, despite her heart’s unnaturally accelerating pulse.
“No need to be so nervous,” Indeedee said. “It’s a long journey, so let’s use the time to get some extra rest.”
“Alright, I guess I can-“ Without warning, she dropped her head on Armarouge’s shoulder. Now her heartbeat accelerated again, though for different reasons. No matter how many times she did that, she couldn’t get used to it. It always made her flush red hot.
“Oi, watch out with that flame down there!” Corviknight shouted. “This isn’t a Drifblim!”
“M-my bad!” Armarouge blabbered. She pat her head until the flames settled, and dropped on the ground again.
Indeedee looked at her and couldn’t hold the giggle. “Just relax,” she said. “We’ll be there before you even realize.”
Armarouge took some breaths. Slowly, she found comfort, relaxed, and got more used to the swinging. Mostly. Although her heartbeat had settled, her stomach still felt weird.
unemployed stinky vgc losers
7:53 AM
Indeedee: we made it to levincia!
Hatterene: Had a safe trip?
Indeedee: yeah
Indeedee: armarouge threw up though
Hatterene: Awwww :(
Armarouge: did we really need to share that
Armarouge: well im feeling better so let’s just go in the venue already
Armarouge: let this be over quickly
Hatterene: Isn’t it nine best of threes? That should take a while.
Armarouge: allow me to live in blissful ignorance hatt
Armarouge: uh should probably tell the team we’re here actually
Armarouge: if they even care
she drills on my horn till im ohko’d
7:55 AM
Indeedee: We’re here
Dewgong: we know lol
Dewgong: we saw you throwing up
Indeedee: Great
Gloom: haha
Dewgong: we’re at the entrance of the venue goin in when you guys are ready
Indeedee: just a minute!
Gloom: excellent
Dewgong: arrrright
Dewgong: lets get down to business
unemployed stinky vgc losers
1:02 PM
Indeedee: seventh set game 3 finally got benched for the first time
Indeedee: hiii chat
Hatterene: Hello!
Hatterene: How is the team doing?
Indeedee: we’re 3-3 rn
Indeedee: when the gimmick works it works ig
Indeedee: but dewgong hasnt landed a single horn drill yet so
Hatterene: Ah, that’s better than I expected.
Hatterene: Not the Horn Drill issue though, I was expecting more after that advertisem*nt.
Indeedee: true, good thing armarouge carries though :)
Indeedee: she just took down both opponents with a tera fire heat wave wow
Hatterene: And how are you doing?
Indeedee: ehhhhh kinda beaten down
Indeedee: joints killing me
Indeedee: too many follow me
Indeedee: not as bad as armarouge taking like four aqua jets per set though
Hatterene: You should try talking to the team about letting her sit the next game out.
Indeedee: dont worry bout that we get a general break after this week
Hatterene: It’s really weird that she’s been in literally every game.
Indeedee: yea right??
Indeedee: thing is
Indeedee: you know how lunala is in the team?
Indeedee: they’ve been benched the whole event for some reason
Indeedee: havent even seen them
Indeedee: like at all
Hatterene: Well, I suppose it’s more likely not to be swapped out when one team member is already absent.
Hatterene: But that’s really strange.
Hatterene: Especially since they’re a Restricted Pokemon.
Indeedee: right right
Indeedee: it’s all really sketchy
Indeedee: the others aren’t taking it very seriously either
Indeedee: they’re not bad but they definitely dont work towards the results worth the kind of salaries we’re getting
Indeedee: also for some reason dewgong keeps pretending to have an unovan accent even though its obvious he’s never even been there
Indeedee: still better than the horses tho
Indeedee: “low battery alert” uh oh
Hatterene: Oh no!
Hatterene: Is this goodbye?
Indeedee: nah still got some juice left
Indeedee: enough to tell you armarouge just protected in front of flutter mane WHAT IS SHE DOING
Indeedee: oohhh wait flutter was speed boost tera water blast lol
Indeedee: HORN DRILL INTO FLUTTER MANE IT CONNECTS
Hatterene: Wow.
Indeedee: yeah thats a forfeit
Indeedee: just like my battery is about to
1:09 PM
Armarouge: indeedee’s phone died
Armarouge: sorry hatt i’ll talk to you later i need rest everything hurts
Hatterene: Sigh...
Hatterene: Solitude once again...
Armarouge sat on one of the venue’s many cheap chairs, with her left leg hanging in the air, held up by Indeedee. “I’m going to bend this now, okay?” Indeedee said.
Armarouge nodded. “Ow. Ow ow ow,” she complained as her knee slowly jerked. Small water drops, almost at boiling temperature, poured out from the little cracks on her armor as her leg folded. Indeedee repeated the process a few more times until the tingling pain from inside had diminished enough.
“I’m never joining a team that asks me to hold a Weakness Policy again,” Armarouge said. “I don’t know how Rhypherior does this.”
“Only two more games,” Indeedee comforted her. “Then we can get paid and move on.”
“I don’t know... I hate this, but it’s thirty-four grand per battle. It feels stupid to give it up this quickly. Especially in this meta.”
“Well, we can think about all of that later.” Indeedee stood up. “Are you hungry? We can go look for something to eat and clear our minds”
“Yes, please,” Armarouge said, suddenly realizing how empty her stomach was. The aftermath from her Corviknight trip hadn’t done her any favors.
They marched through the building, aiming for its opposite end, where most of the food stands were. Getting across was no easy task, since the halls were already packed with Pokemon. “Maybe everyone getting a break at the same time wasn’t the greatest idea,” Armarouge groaned. To no one. Indeedee had disappeared.
It wasn’t uncommon for her to wander off and get lost, especially with so many shop stands to get distracted with. Kecleon’s General Goods, Emboar’s TM Emporium, and even Nidoking’s Niche (and frankly, overpriced) Necessities; they all sold battle goodies that were sure to catch a curious eye. Armarouge knew not to worry, but she did have to find her. Because she definitely wasn’t going to find herself.
She spotted her next to Arboliva’s Viva Berries, already starting to wander off once again. “Ah, there you are, Armarouge!” she said, with a big smile, when Armarouge intercepted her. “I thought I’d lost you! Look, they had fresh Psychic Seeds! Want some?”
“Sure,” Armarouge replied apathetically. Not her favorites. She took the pod anyway, which was already more than half nibbled. “Let’s stick together, alright?”
“Oh hey, there’s the food stands!” Indeedee said, inattentive to Armarouge’s scolding. The fire Pokemon had no option but to run after her. “Check it out. They have sushi.”
“No thanks,” Armarouge declined. “It feels weird to eat now that I know Tatsuguiri. Speaking of...”
unemployed stinky vgc losers
1:16 PM
Armarouge: @Tatsuguiri what the WATTREL are you up to
Armarouge: you’ve been suspiciously quiet
“He has been, right?” Indeedee said. “You’d think he’d have said something about my phone dying or you throwing up by now. I don’t think he’s even receiving these messages.”
“Hmmm,” Armarouge wondered. “Let me try something.”
unemployed stinky vgc losers
1:17 PM
Armarouge: 
Armarouge: @Tatsuguiri answer or they become devoured
Hatterene: Is that Lunala’s wing behind the sushi stand?
Armarouge: huh
Armarouge: WAIT I SEE IT
“Nope, don’t see them,” Indeedee said, staring at the same spot Lunala could be seen at in the photo. “Maybe it’s because of their Shadow Shield ability?”
“I don’t think it works like that,” Armarouge said. “But it’s really weird. The camera definitely captured them. Hold on, maybe if I...” Armarouge turned the camera on and pointed it behind the stand. The lens focused and...
“There they are!” Indeedee said, huddling to see the screen. Their shadow was flickering, as if the phone was struggling to capture it, but Lunala was definitely there. “Look, they’re going inside!” she pointed out. Lunala merged through the stand’s back wall and disappeared into it, causing the lens’ focus to return to normal.
Indeedee and Armarouge got closer to the stand’s backside. It was wider than it seemed. They spotted a pretty well camouflaged door frame on the wooden wall. “Do we go in?” Indeedee asked.
“I’ve had to play seven sets in a row because this legendary refused to show up to any games.” Armarouge said. “We’re absolutely going in.”
Armarouge placed her shaky hand on the door and gently pressed it. It was unlocked, so they both tiptoed inside. It was dark. The only light source in the cabin at the moment was Armarouge’s own flame.
“This doesn’t look like a sushi stand at all,” Indeedee said. “The wood’s all rotten and it smells terrible. There’s not even a kitchen here.” While she was aimlessly walking, she tripped on something laying on the floor. “Ow!” she complained.
“Are you okay?” Armarouge asked.
“Yeah, I just bumped into something. Can you give me some light?” Armarouge stepped closer and crouched to reveal a wooden crate. They shot each other a questioning look, but ultimately, curiosity got the better of them. Inside were hundreds of flat and pill-shaped objects. It was hard to make out what they were with just Armarouge’s flame, but she recognized them immediately nevertheless.
“These are Ability Patches and Capsules,” Armarouge said. “They’ll kick you out of the venue if they see you with just one of them, let alone hundreds. No wonder they’re so well hidden.”
“That’s not all,” Indeedee said. She had just opened two other crates. “This one is full of nature mints, and this one’s only bottles of Carbos. It’s all banned items.”
“So, ya figured it ‘ll out, didn’t ya?” someone said. “Arready knew ya two were clevah ones.”
“That forced Unovan accent...” Armarouge muttered. “Dewgong?”
“That’s right,” he said, stepping from the shadows. Lunala, too, revealed themselves to the open eye. “We’re not really ‘ere to win som’ games. Da team’s just an ‘xcuse to smuggle alterin’ items for those with da dough to buy ‘em, and smarts to not get caught with ‘em.”
“A single Ability Patch can go for up to a million in this market,” Lunala said. “While the rest of the team battles, I sell the goods and remain hidden thanks to my Shadow Shield ability.”
Indeedee nudged Armarouge’s elbow in a ‘told you so’ manner, which Armarouge considered being hardly the time for.
“Ya two are clearly smart lassies,” Dewgong said. “So how’s ‘bout we all pretend this nevah happened? Finish your games, get paid, and ya fuhgeddaboud all this.”
“S-sounds great!” Armarouge said. “We can guarantee you’ll hear nothing from us after this is over. So, if we could just l-leave this sushi shack and-“
“Say, no one was following you when you got here, right?” Lunala asked.
“No,” Indeedee said. “Well, I don’t think-“
Suddenly, the door burst open, a glimmering shape now standing under the frame. “Put your arms, flippers, and any other limbs where I can see them!” Gholdengo shouted.
“It’s da sheriff!” Dewgong yelled. “Scram!” Lunala disappeared into the dark again, and a small pool of water formed on the ground for Dewgong to dive into.
“W-w-wait!” Armarouge pleaded. “What do we do?”
“Deal with ‘im!” Dewgong said. “Why’d ya think we needed a fire type so badly?”
“That’s why you hired us?! To fend off the law?!” Armarouge complained, but Dewgong had already disappeared. It was just the both of them and Gholdengo left.
“Alright, I’m gonna need you two to accompany me and answer some questions,” Gholdengo said. “So please just remain calm, and we can solve this-“
In a snap, Armarouge lowered her arm and fired her Armor Cannon. “Run!” she shouted. She grabbed Indeedee’s hand and sprinted through the explosion’s smoke toward the door.
“That was the worst thing you could have done!” Indeedee yelled. “Why!?”
“I don’t know! I panicked!” Armarouge sobbed. A big crowd had formed around the now burning stand. They hurried there and blent in among the other Pokemon.
“Let’s just hide here until everything settles down,” Armarouge whispered. “When someone takes Gholdengo’s fainted body out of there, we book it and never return.”
“Uhm, Armarouge?” Indeedee said, pointing at a faint golden gleam coming from the fire. “I don’t think they’re gonna have to pull him out.”
Gholdengo’s body, now with a redder glow, crawled out of the fire. On top of his head laid a crystalline chandelier, fruit of his change of type. “They always terastalize,” Armarouge groaned.
Gholdengo’s eyes locked with Indeedee’s, and he summoned his golden surfboard. “I think we should get back to running,” she suggested.
Gholdengo began his chase. He quickly gained on them, since while they were pushing their way out of the crowd, Gholdengo simply hovered above it.
“He’s way too fast! What do we do!?” Armarouge cried. In return, Indeedee shot her a deadpan expression. “Oh, right. That’s our whole deal. C-can you cover for me?”
“You know you don’t have to ask, silly!” Indeedee smiled. She spotted a Shadow Ball flying towards Armarouge and, with a quick finger wag, redirected it toward her. The ghostly projectile phased right through her, right in time for Armarouge to finish setting up Trick Room.
Armarouge and Indeedee had become nimble, each step feeling lighter than the last one. Meanwhile, Gholdengo had just tripped on his own surfboard. They outran him with no problem now, easily building a distance between the two of them.
Once they had reached the shopping corridor after some minutes of running, they stopped to catch their breath. Their sudden speed burst did not apply to their stamina. “I just used Trick Room again, so he won’t be catching up,” Indeedee panted. “We need to have a talk about your trigger-happy cannon later.”
“I know, I know, it’s a problem,” Armarouge said. She spotted Gholdengo all the way back down the corridor. “It’ll take a while for him to get here, but I guess we should get moving soon.”
“I think he’s stopped too,” Indeedee said. “Hold on, can I borrow this for a second?” she asked, pointing at the Scope Lens on the counter, to the Kecleon attending his stand.
Kecleon just shrugged, so Indeedee took the item and focused on Gholdengo. “He’s stopped at Nidoking’s Niche Necessities.”
“What?” Armarouge asked. “Why? Is he buying something?”
“I dunno... Oh, wait, yeah, he is. He’s pulling some coins out of his arm and giving them to Nidoking. That can’t be good for the economy.”
“What could he possibly need to buy?”
“It’s hard to see... I think it’s an Iron Ball?” She handed the Scope Lens to Armarouge. “Here, you should try it since you’re taller.”
“Alright let’s see- Did you say an Iron Ball?”
There was no time for Indeedee to conjure a response. Harnessing the speed halving properties of the Iron Ball, Gholdengo moved so fast he was barely a golden blur. In seconds, he’d already reached the psychic types.
“As I said,” Gholdengo said, an obvious hint of annoyance in his voice, “I’m gonna need you two to accompany me.”
unemployed stinky vgc losers
2:29 PM
Armarouge: ok there’s good news and bad news
Armarouge: the good news is we found out what was so weird about our team
Armarouge: the bad news is we were arrested as suspected accomplices for illegal item smuggling in competitive venues
Hatterene: I beg your pardon?
Armarouge: indeedee is telling me to mention the other bad news which is we’re probably not getting paid
Hatterene: Oh my goodness.
Hatterene: Are you two okay?
Armarouge: could have been way worse
Armarouge: we thought we were going to jail or something
Armarouge: but turns out gholdengo’s pretty chill
Armarouge: he already knew something was up with those guys
Armarouge: like he figured we didnt know anything about that secret business
Hatterene: Did you have to show him the ad?
Armarouge: yeah we did lol it was pretty funny
Armarouge: so he just asked us to tell us what we knew about the team
Armarouge: which we did obviously cause they tried setting us up to take the fall
Armarouge: and he let us go scott free after that
Armarouge: ok thats not true i am legally required to attend a PWMT session
Hatterene: Pokemon Weaponry Management Therapy?
Armarouge: yeah
Hatterene: Well, you do accidentally burn down things rather often...
Armarouge: ive already had this conversation twice today please
Armarouge: indeedee wants me to tell you she’s nodding in agreement
Hatterene: What are you going to do now?
Armarouge: we’ll be staying in levincia a little longer since we’re already here
Armarouge: we still haven’t eaten so we’re looking for some grub
Armarouge: hold on im getting a message somewhere else
she drills on my horn till im ohko’d
2:35 PM
Gloom: you shouldn’t have done that
unemployed stinky vgc losers
2:36 PM
Armarouge sent a screenshot from another group chat
Armarouge: chat should we be concerned
“Maybe we should leave Levincia,” Armarouge suggested. “Just to be safe.”
“Without eating?” Indeedee asked.
“Okay, well, maybe let’s eat something first. I don’t know how much longer I can go with an empty stomach.”
“There’s a sandwich shop right here. Does that sound good?”
“I dunno.” Armarouge scrunched her nose. “It smells pretty awful. What the hell are they cooking in there to cause this stench?”
“Yeah, I can smell it too. I’m not even sure if food can produce such an odor.” Indeedee started to feel a little dizzy. That smell wasn’t normal. It couldn’t be coming from the sandwich shop. With rising suspicion, she looked behind her back, and... “Look out!” she yelled, as she managed to redirect the incoming Hydro Pump towards her.
“Indeedee!” Armarouge yelled out. She helped the normal type regain her balance, and glared at where the attack had come from. Two familiar figures were approaching from the horizon, and as one did, the awful odor got worse.
“Lookie who we’ve got ‘ere,” Dewgong said. “I hope ya two ‘re proud of what ya’ve don’. They’ve done caught Lunala an’ Ting-Lu.”
“Y-yeah, well, maybe don’t involve two strangers in your illegal affairs next time,” Armarouge spat. “Now if you’d excuse us, we have, uhhhh... stuff to do.”
“Yep!” Indeedee added. “Lots of stuff.”
“...actually I don’t think you’re going to leave...” Gloom said. “...we’re, like, going to kill you in the name of revenge and stuff...”
“O-okay, surely there’s a better way to resolve this,” Indeedee said, stepping back. “Have you tried requesting bail?”
Without bothering to answer, Dewgong lunged horn first, aiming at Indeedee’s heart. He overshot and landed in a nearby bush instead, but Indeedee knew she couldn’t underestimate the brutal attack. She shot one look at Armarouge, who understood immediately.
“Gonna need some help to knock him out with one Aura Sphere,” Armarouge said. Indeedee nodded and offered her a Helping Hand. “Sorry, pal,” she muttered as she charged the Aura Sphere. “Maybe try not to stab my girlfriend next time.”
“...not so fast... I think I’m going to like, stop you from doing that...” Gloom muttered. He spat a barrage of Bullet Seeds at Armarouge, which barely hurt, but had an awful Stench to them. Armarouge couldn’t handle it, and flinched.
“Great work, brotha!” Dewgong, back on his flippers, said. He lunged at Indeedee again, who barely managed to react by jumping out of the way of the Horn Drill.
“Let’s try again!” Indeedee shouted. Armarouge tried shooting an Aura Sphere once more, but was met with the same stinky fate.
Dewgong attacked again. Indeedee barely dodged. Armarouge flinched. Attack, dodge, flinch. The cycle kept repeating, and Armarouge and Indeedee had all the losing cards.
“It’s only a matter of time before my horn pierces your chest,” Dewgong said. He was visibly furious. Even dropped the forced accent. “And this time, I’m feeling pretty lucky.”
Indeedee tried looking for an escape, but realized she was cornered. She glanced at Armarouge for help, but she was dealing with her own problems. Defeated, Indeedee took a breath and braced for the fatal impact.
But that never happened. Because instead, a massive blue figure crashed into Dewgong at mach speed, and sent the ice type flying.
“No worries, little lady and red lady,” Dondozo said, voice rasp as ever. “We are now here.”
“Wh- what?” Armarouge muttered. “Dondozo?”
“And company.” Dondozo opened his mouth to reveal the tiny orange Pokemon laying in it. “You could sound a little more graceful after we saved your sorry asses,” Tatsuguiri said.
“...uhm... I’m still, like, here...” Gloom said, turning to face the new pair. “...prepare to be stopped... or something...”
“Oh, can it, you,” Tatsuguiri groaned. He rummaged around Dondozo’s mouth and found a stone almost his own size. “Here, go take a bath.”
He threw the stone at Gloom, who made no effort to dodge it. “...that barely hurt... do better...” he said. But the stone was not meant to hurt. Suddenly, Gloom’s whole body was covered by a glowing aura. His body twisted and stretched, and to everyone’s relief, the stench faded away. When the glow dissipated, there wasn’t a Gloom anymore.
“...oh...” Bellossom said, contemplating his new body. “...that just kinda ruins the whole thing I had going on... not cool...”
Now that the battle was over, Armarouge stood up from the ground and hurried to where Indeedee was. There was nothing to worry about, though. Despite the battle’s length, they both had barely taken any damage. “How did you know to bring a Sun Stone, Tatsuguiri?” Indeedee asked.
“Oh, I just had it,” he said. “There’s a huge stash of stuff in this big boy’s mouth.” He got some berries from who knows where. “You guys were hungry, right?”
“We’ll pass,” Armarouge said. “I’ve already thrown up once today.”
From behind the bushes, they heard struggling grunts that, somehow, also had a Unovan accent. Gholdengo walked into the scene, carrying with him a handcuffed Dewgong. “Thanks for the help catching this guy, fellas,” he said. “Just missing that Gloom, now. Say, you, with the grass skirt, have you seen one around here?”
“...me..?” Bellossom asked. He looked around, as if there was someone else to find that wasn’t himself. “...uhm... no... can’t say I have...”
“Well, just keep an eye out, alright? I’ll be at the station if you need anything.” That said, both he and Dewgong walked away.
“...well, I guess I’m gonna leave...” Bellosom said. “...gonna figure out what to do with my life... and stuff...” He walked away too, leaving just the four of them.
“Is it okay for him to just leave unscathed?” Armarouge asked. “He was literally attempting murder a minute ago.”
No one really knew what to say or do. Should they fetch Gholdengo or do anything else? “I’m hungry so I don’t care. Let’s go eat,” Dondozo said, breaking the silence. Everyone found his solution the best.
she drills on my horn till im ohko’d
5:01 PM
Ting-Lu: 
